Jennifner.com

When I die, I do not want to go to heaven and then watch the events of my life unfold on the big screen. I’m sorry, but I don’t. I’ve lived it once, and, quite frankly, a good portion of my life has been rather boring. For instance, who really wants to watch themselves sleep? Every night? For their entire lifetime? No thank you.

That’s not to say that I wouldn’t like to see select moments in my life. I just want the ability to select what moments I see. That’s why I hope that when Google’s inventors get to heaven, God gets them busy designing what will come to be known as Google Life. (I know that God could make it himself, but I think he’s probably got better things to do. And since the Google guys are so good at what they do…you know: Google Mail, Google Earth, Google Maps…they deserve to spearhead the Google Life project.)

It’s got potential, people! Think about it: You know those situations where you’re having a conversation with your mom and you say, “Remember that time when we saw John Denver at the fair?” And then your mom says, “No, we never saw John Denver. You must be thinking of someone else.” But you still feel fairly certain you saw John Denver and your mom is crazy? That’s where Google Life comes in. You type in as much information as you think you remember—John Denver concert when I was 10—and Google Life searches through your entire life and brings up relevant results. And then you watch the video version (on that big screen, with heavenly picture and sound) and you and your mom both know who is right and who is crazy.

(Okay, I admit it—I’d really like to have Google Life right now. I mean, my entire generation is so used to instant answers to most who, what, where, when, why, and how questions…it’s frustrating that we can’t have the same instant gratification for these questions in our own lives. However, I recognize that since God’s got exclusive access to a free and unbiased account of my life, I’ll have to wait for heaven in order to get it.)