Hi, My Name Is Jennifer and I’m a Lazorexic

After dinner on Sunday, I made a series of important discussions in the discovery of lazorexia.

Lazorexia is defined as the consistent skipping or delaying of meals in order to avoid cooking. Characterized by less than ideal nutrition. Possible causes include the frustrating lack of recipes for a single girl and the loneliness of setting a place for one at a dining room table.

The sharp rise of lazorexia can be attributed to two sources: microwaves and fast food restaurants. (Several studies also link lazorexia to the use of fast food drive-throughs. Most academics accept this theory on the condition that the lazorexic is already in the car.)

Lazorexia, in its current form, manifests itself in an inability to decide what to eat at mealtimes, leading to long periods of mindless grazing or snacking. (Cadbury chocolates and tortilla chips are among the most common snack foods.) Other symptoms include an unwillingness to actually cook anything and a repetitive tendency to open cupboards and stare blankly into them.

The world’s earliest lazorexics survived on wild berries and grasses. However, little else is known about them as most of them were unwilling to relocate when they had exhausted their supply of berries.

Possible cures for lazorexia: While there are no sure-fire cures to lazorexia, having friends or roommates who actually spend time at the house to share mealtimes with significantly cuts down in the frequency of lazorexia episodes.