Wear Something Nice Tomorrow, Okay?

So summer’s FINALLY decided to stick around. My life is 100% more awesome than it was 30 degrees ago. Instead of being stuck downstairs listening to psycho anti-Obama lady, I can go outside on my lunch breaks, spread out a blanket in the shade, and pretend I’m not at work for 30 minutes.

It’s almost always the highlight of my day.

The question becomes, now, what to wear to work. Since I work at an “Old Boys’ club,” the thermostat is almost always hostile towards women—in fact, the office is even colder in the summer than it is in the winter. That’s fine. I wear a sweater to work Monday through Friday throughout the year anyways. And keep a blanket at my desk. Which I wear until the office warms up around 3:00 in the afternoon.

Let’s be honest, I know I can’t wear summer clothes to the office. But I am so tempted to dress for those 30 happy lunchtime minutes—short sleeves without sweaters! capris! sandals! happiness!

And then my daydreams are smashed by our company’s “Dress for Success” emails.

“While it is very tempting to wear your summer dresses, flip flops, shorts, and tank tops, it is never appropriate. While relaxed business attire is acceptable within the stated guidelines, we want to be sure our environment does not jeopardize professionalism and productivity.”

Here I am, working along, waiting for my 30 minutes of sunshine and BOOM! A reminder about how silly our company is. I know it sounds very millennial, but I hate our company’s dress code. It is *anything* but consistent. I shouldn’t have any problem with our dress code! Seriously! I dress like a married Mormon woman! It’s not like I’m wanting to come to work looking like I came from the Blue Boutique. The shorts I want to wear extend well beyond my fingertips.

Last week, I left the house feeling very dressed up for work—make-up on, heels, below-the-knee white capris, and a nicer purple shirt. I was feeling pretty good about myself all day until a coworker (not HR, not my boss, just an average coworker) told me to “Wear something nice to the party tomorrow—not like what you’re wearing today.”

Thanks, lady.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see any difference in professionalism between the to-the-knee shorts and the past-the-knee capris. Furthermore, it kills me that these professional-looking knee-length shorts are forbidden (even with heels, even on casual Fridays), but the short skirts are always perfectly acceptable?

And, for another example, the embellished flip flops below are forbidden, while the silly Barbie shoes are “professional” enough for everyday wear and the Adidas shoes are fine on casual Friday. But, no, the leather Roxy flip flops are “deemed inappropriate by the company” and may never be worn.

I guess I should have accepted that common sense is not a fixed part of my company culture. I know, I know, I am the one choosing to work here—and as long as I do, I’ll comply with said dress code.

But I’ll never understand it.