Archives for "Marriage"

Ryan left for the wilderness on Thursday afternoon. This is my account of my adventures without him.

8:45 - Last night I dreamed that I got a text message from Ryan telling me that he loved me and missed me. When I woke up this morning, I had, in fact, received a text during the night—but it was from my mom in D.C. I guess my brain took the beep from the text and told itself what it wanted to hear. Hey, if this is crazy, I like it.

10:00 – Still can’t decide what to eat for breakfast. Why is it that without Ryan I’m nutrimentally challenged?

10:30 – Ryan’s mom called to check up on me. Which reminds me: I’ve got to go Father’s Day shopping and to Costco this morning to pick up provisions for tomorrow. In fact, I’ve got a ton of errands to run. Which I’m not going to run until after I get this editing done. Which I’m having a hard time focusing on. (Who’s surprised here?)

1:15 – Actually finished all of my edits, which I enjoyed this time. Now the debate: Do I shower and get ready now or do I go SHOPPING! again and shower after that? Oh the difficult choices I have to consider without Ryan filling our schedule with silly things like cleaning and yardwork!

1:45 – Decided to shower and used up approximately 95% of our hot water supply. Decadent. Snuck a few sniffs of Ryan’s body wash, but it didn’t smell nearly as nice in the bottle as it does on him.

2:30 – Leave for more SHOPPING!

2:32 – Return to get necessary addresses.

5:00 – Finished up with SHOPPING! It wasn’t as satisfying of a trip as I would have liked. Still nothing for the walls in that room. But I’ve got more ideas and more fake flowers for the house so I can pretend it gets natural light. Also, went to the Costco in Draper—people were crawling all over that place. Like ants. Little Mormon-mom-haired ants. Decided I did not want to go home to an empty house, so I called Nick and informed him I was coming to visit.

6:30 – Baked muffins for Nick and me. Since mom and dad are out of town, he’s been staying up really late. So it was breakfast for him, dinner for me. I left when he informed me he had to go get ready for the day. Um, don’t you mean evening?

7:30 – Trying to decide: do I go to the gym or do I take care of some things around the house? Right now I’m mostly sleepy and have some awesome chick flicks to watch.

7:56 – HOLY SMOKES! RYAN CAME HOME EARLY!!!! BEST EVENING SURPRISE EVER!

Ryan left for the wilderness yesterday afternoon. This is my account of my adventures without him.

8:07 – Woke up late. Well…actually I woke up right on time but decided to snooze once. Therein was my downfall. Ryan is the alarm manager of the family, and apparently I lack the necessary training in snooze operation. Scrambled to get ready by dumping gallons of baby powder in my hair. Mmm, fresh as a daisy.

11:25 – Made the mistake of listening to Armageddon at work today. OHMYGOSH, the tears. My tears had tears.

3:00 – Find myself still sending Ryan text messages, even though I know there’s no way he’ll get them until he gets out of the canyon. Still, it’s comforting to talk to him like he’s right here with me. And there’s always that long-shot hope that he’ll climb up to the top of a mountain and have cell phone service and maybe, just maybe, turn his phone on and write to me. And, yes, this hope has caused me to be no more than an arm’s length away from my phone all day.

5:01 – Still at work, tweaking the Flash project of frustration, which is actually going rather well today. This is clearly not a normal Friday—it doesn’t feel like a weekend, since I’ll be all alone. Apparently it’s not a weekend without Ryan. And apparently being at work doing something with a purpose was better than being all alone and wandering. (Who knew?) Despite all this, however, I still found myself counting down how long until Ryan would normally be coming home. Oh, brain, what cruel tricks you play on me.

6:00 – Arrived home.  Went to the fridge to find something for dinner. Ended up eating brownies. And wandering. Oh, the wandering!

7:00 – Again tried to think of something for dinner. Again found myself eating brownies. Decided I needed to get out of the house. Time for SHOPPING! (which is really just organized wandering).

8:45 – Returned from SHOPPING! Laid out all of my purchases and admired them for 10 minutes. Although, I couldn’t admire my curtains properly because there was no husband to hold them up for me. Forced to use my imagination.

9:45 – Exercised my willpower and did not eat brownies. Still couldn’t find anything. Ended up eating the same dinner I had last night—except even easier than yesterday because I didn’t have to exude competence in the kitchen. I am so proficient with a microwave.

11:45 – Again, with the puttering and the absentmindedness, it took me over an hour to get to bed. And again, without Ryan here as an independent heat source, I am still not ready for sleep. Even though it’s June, I think I have no choice but to turn on the electric blanket tonight. Rearranged the throw pillows in a Ryan-like form—I’m hoping that if I cuddle up with my back to them and use my imagination again, I’ll be able to get to sleep before 2am. At least there haven’t been any evil bug sightings tonight. That works in favor of a decent bedtime at least.

Ryan left for the wilderness this afternoon. This is my account of my adventures without him.

5:00 – Ryan came home from work and we spent the next little bit getting everything ready to send him off. Everything was extra tender. It’s funny, but the things I’ll miss the very most are my daily luxuries—feeling his hand sliding into mine and getting to breathe him in when he hugs me. I got teary when we talked about saying goodbye. I know he’s not dying, but this will be the longest I’ve gone without talking to him in over two years.

5:40 – Took Ryan to Herget’s house to meet up with the backpacking crew. It was nice to be able to see him off and hear a little about their non-existant plans. (Since Four Lakes Basin was covered in three feet of snow, the boys had to make some last-minute adjustments to their plans. And by “adjustments” I mean “make new plans entirely.”) The boys all seemed to have some pretty good gear, plus, Brent had his gun and Herget had his scary-ass knife so I felt a little less worried about Ryan getting eaten by a bear. And Brent promised not to shoot Ryan, so my husband is as safe as I can make him. I loaded him up and kissed him goodbye. I did not cry one tear. Because I am amazingly tough.

6:00 – Came home and wandered aimlessly. If I were older, doctors would have assumed I belonged in an Alzheimer’s ward.

6:30 – Megan came over (yay), so I had to stop wandering. Probably that was a good thing.

11:00 – Megan went home. That’s right, I played until 11 o’clock on a work night. I’m that cool. We made dinner, chatted, and pretended to edit, but really we just feasted on brownies and Mr. Darcy. Fantastic evening.

11:05 – Returned to wandering aimlessly. Puttered. Also, I saw a huge creepy bug, but no one was around to kill it and I didn’t dare get close to it. This is going to be a major problem, especially when it creates an army of creepy baby bugs and they mount a full-scale attack on me in my sleep.

12:00 – Turned down the bed and found a little note Ryan had written me on a half-sheet of notebook paper. Remembered how much I miss him. Tried to console myself by taking up the entire bed. Mmm, leg room and a million pillows.

1:00 - Since there was no one to put my cold feet on, I couldn’t fall asleep. Because everyone knows it’s impossible to fall asleep with cold feet. Used the laptop to warm up the bed next to me. Will now proceed to cuddle up to the warmth. I’m so tricky!

Update: As soon as I turned off the light to go to sleep, I WAS ATTACKED BY THE HUGE CREEPY BUG. It flew and hit me in the head and then went straight for my ear. I reacted as any sane person would do—throwing pillows and doing enough flailing to knock the laptop off of the bed. The laptop lived. The bug was not so lucky. I am happy to report my pillow throwing abilities annihilated the offending bug. Of course, the ensuing adrenaline rush made it basically impossible for me to get to sleep until 2:00 am. But I still beat the bug.