Archives for "Rant"

I started out this morning like any other day at work—come in, check my email, browse the internets, and get to work. About an hour after I got in, the big boss came to my desk and unceremoniously dropped some sheets of paper on my desk. “Look over these and find a consensus,” he told me. Then walked away.

I picked up the papers and saw my initial drafts for the new logo. The drafts that I’d given him last week, that I’d emphasized were “only the first drafts and not the final product,” that I only let him take because he asked for them and what was I going to say? Me: “No, you cannot have the drafts. We’re presenting the finished designs on Thursday.” Him: “You’re fired.” Of course I gave him the drafts, with the understanding that he was “just going to show his dad.” That made sense. His dad, the former big boss, rarely came in the office and the big boss wanted to ask permission to make changes.

Apparently, though, I didn’t translate “just going to show my dad” into big boss speak. Because the big boss had a meeting today with the big shots of the company—aka everyone in the company who makes more per month than I make per year—and he totally showed them my drafts.

In fact, not only did he show everyone my drafts, he passed them around for feedback. So when I got my drafts back today, they were covered in this:

Wait, what? Did the president of my company REALLY just pass around my initial designs for the entire company’s comments?? Yep. He did.

He could have waited two days, gotten the final versions of the logos, heard our views about the strengths of each, and had two or three good candidates to choose from. But did he wait? No, no he didn’t. Instead, he took my sketches and initial designs—and I had about 40 to 50 counting all the minor variations that I’d printed out just because the change in perspective makes it easier to spot problems in the design—and he presented them to a group of people with a -10 design experience.

These people were seeing my thought processes and my experiments—the good and the bad—and they put it under a microscope and ripped it apart. I feel kind of like I would if he’d read out of my journal.

Seriously, with everything on display like this, it’s trial and error with no room to err. They’re liking things that I tried out but think are awful and are hating things that I think make for a really strong design. And for the rest of the day it’s been, “Hey Jenn, I saw your logos today. I have a few graphic design friends/clients that we could get to work on this….” Me: “Sorry, guys, the big boss doesn’t want to pay for your graphic designer friends/clients with their snooty PhDs. Thanks for thinking about how I felt about this, though. You guys are great.”

As for a consensus? There really isn’t one—there were 30 big shots in that room and 30 different opinions. At this point, however, I’m pretty burnt out, so it just seems really, really funny. Which is probably a good thing for my continued employment.

Again, wish me luck. The big meeting has been moved to Thursday afternoon. And then, even if it’s terrible, I’ll at least be moving forward. I’m looking forward to Friday.

I have this coworker who has been giving me the silent treatment for over a year and a half. Because I’m friends with a guy she had a crush on. Because this is middle school, and that’s how these things work.

When I pass her in the hall, on the stairs, or in the lunchroom, I’ll almost always say “Hi Jen!” (We have the same name, did I mention that?) Without fail, she just puts her head down like she can’t see me and walks very quickly past me. Not a word, no head bob, no acknowledgment at all of my presence.

Which is fine, I guess. It doesn’t really have much of an impact on my day-to-day. But apparently it’s getting to me subconsciously.

For the last few months, after one of these events, I’ve found my mind wandering to ways I can get to her at least acknowledge me. Like “accidentally” tripping with a glass full of ice water, which would then send my cup of ice water directly into her face. Or making faces at her while saying hi her, just to see if she notices. Again, because this is middle school and that’s how we do things.

Is this a bad thing? It’s not really a conscious decision to plot against her. Just a natural reaction to a frustrating situation. Apparently, this is becoming another one of my reoccurring daydreams at work, along with telling off the opinionated financial lady and crawling under my desk and hiding from all my coworkers who don’t get it.

Maybe I should just resolve the whole thing by passing her a note.

So…this last week I was working on a post about how my work isn’t so bad after all. And then Thursday happened. My favorite person at work was unceremoniously let go because her manager told HR a boldfaced lie about her performance. What’s worse, HR didn’t even bother to look into whether or not he was telling the truth, but chose to just fire a great employee who was a damn sight more productive than her predecessor or the manager.

As a result, it’s back to my bad dreams and daydreams about work—the bad dreams of working with literary villains like Ms. Trunchbull and the daydreams mostly of me voicing my real opinions, throwing staplers and trashing cubicles for emphasis.

Last night, I cried myself to sleep at the thought of coming back here. I think I was crying not so much out of concern for my coworker—she’s a bright girl, a hard worker, and she’ll be better off working for a manager who appreciates her talents. I think it was more tears of frustration with my work performing yet another injustice and me having to try to pick up the pieces again.

So this month, Ryan and I are going to the temple to try and figure out if now is a good time for me to start applying for a position with another company. And while this might not sound like much, it’s a good deal more than I’ve done after past blows from my work.

The holidays have come and gone and with it—I thought—the question I never knew how to answer: “So how’s work going for you, Jenn?”

I’ll be honest. I don’t love my job. Most days, I don’t even like my job. Some days, in fact, I even hate it. But what can I do? It’s a recession? I should just be happy to avoid the ranks of the unemployed, right?

Well, two weeks ago, they “asked” me to move upstairs to save my boss from drowning in the work requests they had been giving her. They also “asked” me to continue my regular design/editing duties as well as add some property & casualty insurance duties. A move that I had resisted for the past two years. But I couldn’t refuse them because it’s a recession, right? So I moved. And, once again, everyone was asking me how I liked my job.

I lied through my teeth.

Fast forward to today when I find out that they just created a new communications department—and I’m not in it. What’s more, they’ve moved over a former client service representative to head this new department. And, the kicker, the new department gets to help revamp everything and may even get to take classes—the very things I requested at my yearly review in November.

Nope. Instead, I’m making labels.

I was livid. Suddenly, I was fighting back tears to the point where my head was exploding, and I was just fine walking around outside without a coat. I couldn’t breathe and when I’d try and talk, only the first third of the sentence would actually come out.

And, driving home from work, it hit me. This feels exactly like getting dumped.

I need a new job.