Archives for "Work"

Note: The majority of this was written on Thursday after the big meeting; however, I’m a little late in publishing it because, long story short, early on Friday I got a call from a big-wig saying, “I’ve been on vacation for the past two weeks, and I have these two 5+ hour projects I have to have before Monday. Can you come in over the long weekend?” (Yup. That’s my job.) So I spent all of Friday cramming 10 hours of work into a 7-hour workday. That said…

IT’S FINISHED!!! All the stress, bad dreams, daily frustrations, unsolicited comments, and tears over this project—all done (for now). And, I’ll admit, even though it didn’t turn out anything like I’d hoped, I think it’s rather nice.

So the big-wigs have (finally) chosen their logo. We presented them with three versions—a conservative version that changed up the typography, a moderate version that added a new logo mark, and a radical version that significantly changed up the look. Guess which one they chose.*

I know I’ve been a bit of a basketcase these past few weeks, and I definitely owe some people a major thank you—my friends who supported me throughout this adventure. You guys are my real friends.

Nate, in particular, deserves a HUGE thank you for periodically checking in on me at work to make sure I wasn’t hyperventilating. I do that a lot, lately. I also owe him for helping me craft my meeting strategy (being unyieldingly upbeat, generously dispensing praise, and only focusing on the positive—basically the opposite of everything the other girl did at our first meeting).

Also, believe it or not, I should probably thank the girl I worked with on this project for being surprisingly nice. Even though we still don’t see eye-to-eye on our design preferences, it was nice to finally be able to talk without me crying for weeks afterwards. She put in a lot of effort, came up with something that was quite nice, and figured out how to put together a classy presentation. (Also, she ended up having to stay home on the day of the big meeting, which really relieved an awful amount of stress I had going in. I did feel bad she wasn’t there, since she worked hard on the project, but it really made everything much easier for me. Is that bad to say? Probably, huh?)

Of course, the biggest thank you goes to my husband. Throughout this adventure, he has done far more than his fair share of listening, empathizing, and comforting. He knows and provides—even sometimes without me telling him—the kind of feedback I need (which varies from “his honest opinion” to “tell me what I want to hear”). Also, he has a superhuman amount of patience, which has come in really handy with the amount of obsessing I do. He is a huge source of strength and support, and I appreciate him to pieces.

Really, I am so lucky to have such wonderful support from friends and family. It’s nice to know I have people I can rely on for the little things like this. It makes a difference.

So. About today.

We finally had the big meeting at work, the one to determine—once and for all—what we planned to do with our logo, branding, and company image going forward. Realize this comes after nearly two months of deliberations in less-effective meetings, so this is kind of a big deal. Now when these meetings first started in November, I had big dreams about working with a really respectable design firm. Then, the big boss mentioned that he was going to give our business to his buddy who runs a two-bit design firm that actually outsources all of their work to the Philippines. Wait, what?

Needless to say, my big, lovely dreams were quickly diminished to hoping that something decent would come out of this mess.

Lucky for me, the Filipino designers struck out big time, so no green umbrellas or power buttons in our logo. (Not joking.) Unlucky for me, the owner of this two-bit design firm  thoroughly convinced the big boss that the respectable design firm was comprised of people my age and experience level who have advanced degrees in design because they couldn’t get a real job and who overcharge their clients for fluff and don’t have any real value.

A full rebuttal of this idea will have to wait for a later post because GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT…

He put me in charge* of the logo design, the branding, all of it. And he wants me to have it to him in T-minus one week. ONE week. The professional design firm wanted four weeks. I get four-and-a-half working days. What??

The rest of the committee applauded me, saying what a great compliment it was that the big boss would trust me with the identity of the firm. And, certainly, they’re right. It is a big compliment—the big boss trusts very few people and he said he was impressed enough with my previous work that he trusted me with this. I really feel like I should be excited. However, there’s this very cynical part of me—formed through previous work experience—that worries that I’m  getting set up to fail. That I’ll invest all this time and energy into making the logo as aesthetically pleasing as I can, while simultaneously pleasing the different personalities on the committee, only to have it scrapped because of some off-hand comment by a random employee. (It’s happened before.)

And are you wondering what the * was for? Well, remember this? Remember the replacement who, on her very first day of work, deliberately insulted my designs in front of the big bosses, complimented my work in private, made me cry for weeks, and got me removed from the project I’d been working on for six months. Yeah, her? Well I’ve been told to work with her again on this project. Seriously, what??

Wish me luck on this one, folks. I’m gonna need it.

So sometimes I have trouble making decisions. (I know—all three of you who read this website are truly shocked at this statement.) I’m not always bad at it. Sometimes I do quite well. For instance, I decided I wanted to marry Ryan after about 4 months of dating and followed through on this decision 5 months after that.

See? A big, life-changing decision and I did just fine with it. I thought about it, figured out what I wanted, prayed about it, felt great about it, dealt with my nerves, and followed through. Two points for classic decision-making strategies.

So why doesn’t this strategy work with my job? It’s pretty much an ongoing problem—I’ve been hating my job on and off (mostly on) for two years now. I think about it all the time, but I have yet to think of a satisfying resolution. Ideally, I’d hear of an opening at an awesome company, ace the interviews, and dance my way into happy employment. However, this is 2009 and unemployment is hovering around 10%. I have a healthy amount of job security, earn a comfortable salary, and have a fantastic boss who is generally supportive of the things I do. Wouldn’t I be crazy to leave that?

Except for the fact that I cry at work several times a month.

In my family, whether or not you like your job is a moot point—you do what needs to be done to earn a living. Ryan, on the other hand, says he’d prefer me happy and working at Barnes & Noble to me coming home grumpy and teary several times a week. However, working at Barnes & Noble wouldn’t do much to advance my career. (Somehow, being a cashier or story-reader—something a 16-year-old without a college degree could do—doesn’t seem like a good career option.) But then again, since the tentative plan is to start a family in a year or two, do I really need to be focusing on what would be best for my career? Shouldn’t I, instead, be doing what’s best for me?

But at this point, what would be best for me? Right now, my salary is allowing us to pay off our cars, build up our savings, and have a little left over for a modest summer vacation. Will I regret, if I leave, giving up the opportunity to create a more secure financial future? Or will I look back and regret that I wasted so much time at a place that has made me so unhappy?

Maybe this decision is so hard because there are no easy answers, no clear direction. Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid to just take a leap of faith—doing what’s best for me and choosing not to worry about the consequences.

Sadly, though, not  dreamer in the John Lennon sense of the word. (Though that’s admirable and maybe even preferable.) Nope, I just tend to have vivid dreams on a fairly regular basis. However, when I’m really stressed or when I’m facing major changes, my dreams become my constant companions and even start making demands on my waking hours as well.

For instance, when I was fuming mad at work, I was having multiple involuntary daydreams per day. When the guy who took my old desk asked me for my designs and background documents, I’d see myself going downstairs and dumping the still-boxed contents of my old desk at his feet—papers flying everywhere.  I’d then go upstairs to collect my things and, for good measure, send some more papers flying. Then (and this is the most joyful part), I’d finally tell that lady from accounting what I really think of her loudly forcing her opinions on everyone in earshot. (Hint: Not good things.) I’d walk out the door, my head held high, into the loving arms of new employment.

Then I’d snap out of it and find myself still at my job…sitting at my desk…making labels. The clarity of the daydreams only made my reality more pathetic and gray.

Eventually, though, my anger dissolved, and I progressed along the other stages of grief. My daydreams became less frequent and more voluntary. Now I’m down to a single work-related daydream. It’s short and simple. As I’m walking back to my desk, labels in hand, I crouch down and crawl in the small space near my filing cabinets. I stay there, in relative peace, until the workday ends.

Look at the serenity acceptance has given me.

So I’ve got a big career-related meeting coming up tomorrow and, as a result, I”ve been thinking a lot about my resume. And how even though it’s been polished until it’s shiny, it doesn’t really come through and say everything like I’d want it to say.

Objective: To find a job that I totally rock at. Where I can use my brain and make projects that are awesome and that I can really be proud of. Where I get to have some say in what I do. Also, a job where I can respect, have fun, and laugh with my coworkers. Also, to find something that doesn’t entirely overtake my life–I don’t mind overtime, but I’d like it to be the exception rather than the rule.

Skills:

• Word: Native. Period. (You try using it as your main design platform for three years and see what you learn!)
• Photoshop: Completely fluent, though I still speak with an accent.
• Dreamweaver: With enough study and preparation, I can say pretty much whatever I want.
• InDesign: College-level skills, enough to impress those who don’t know any better
• Illustrator: Can hold a basic conversation and imitate fairly convincingly
  
• Flash: I know enough to find a bathroom and correctly pronounce menu items
• Other skills: Corny as it may sound, I am willing to learn anything that anyone wants to teach me. I really do like learning new stuff and pick things up pretty quickly. I’m also pretty good at tinkering with a program until I figure out how to make it do what I want it to do. Also I’m usually nice and happy at work.

Experience:

• Current job: This job has been really good to me, on the whole. It was a great entry-level position–they’ve been very flexible with me and have allowed me to learn a lot on the job. I think the most frustrating part about it is that my role was never really well defined. Lately, I think that I’ve reached a limit of where I can progress–there’s more that I can do there, but the company as a whole isn’t yet ready to make those advances.
• Current freelance editing job: I love, love, love this job. I love editing, love words, love the variety, love the hours, love the people I work with. I’m not sure I could do it full-time, though. I’ve realized I really enjoy the design component of my current job and I think I’d really miss it if I went full-time. Also, I think I’d really miss interacting with people.
• College editing job: This job was fantastic. It had all of the perks mentioned above (since it was for the same place) and it allowed me to combine my editing skills with a layout perspective as I got to design journals, magazines, books, etc. This is the closest I’ve come to an ideal job.

Hobbies: Reading, football, following politics in a non-contentious manner.

References: If you want a real breakdown of what I’m like–complete with positives, negatives, insecurities, and nerosis–you should talk to my husband. Or my friends.